In a recent Rolling Stone interview, when Justin Bieber was asked about his opinion on abstinence, he said “I think you should just wait for the person you’re…in love with.”

It seems everyone has an opinion on love, but there are so many contradictions. How do you get to the truth?

If you’ve read the Bible, and if you believe the words you’ve read, then you probably have a pretty good idea of what love is—at least from a grand die-for-you and turn-the-other-cheek perspective. But applying that kind of love to our everyday messy, stinky, and sticky lives is a challenge for us all. The way we look at it, love—true love—is the ultimate removal of self from your definition of love. Love in its genuine form requires a complete focus not just on the wants of the other person but also on their mental, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual needs. Imagine how good love would be if no one ever had to search for it themselves—if it were given to each of us freely, with no one manipulating it, using it, or refusing it, and if it were given the way the author of love himself has given it.

Imagine if you knew how to love without giving in to your damaged desires and experiences. That would be pretty amazing, huh? But who are we kidding? This is earth, not heaven, and there are some broken people out there, maybe even right here, reading this blog. So love isn’t going to be as easy as returning a glass slipper to a perfect little foot and running off in a pumpkin carriage together. Park the gourd and call the podiatrist—there’s gonna be some work involved. Smart love will require some painful changes and some refusals to wallow in the misery of it all should your Cupidity lead to heartache. But in the end, a look at the Cupidity in your own life and relationships through the filter of God’s Word should at the very least get you thinking and hopefully praying that things can get a whole lot better.

Have you read our book Cupidity? Do you think the Biebs will ultimately ‘grow up’ like Miley Cyrus and then Justin’s parents will blame “his handlers?” And more importantly, how do we ditch self-important love for the selfless love modeled by Jesus?

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